Speak in Cursive

When blacked out

I write in cursive

Wasted night

Wasted class time

Useless

Illegible

Britney Spears Is Number 1

I read today that Britney Spears was the number one search on Yahoo in the last year. Fascinating. I don’t know which is more amazing to me, the fact that Britney is still relevant to anyone’s day; or that the 12 holdouts still using Yahoo and watching Beverly Hills Cop on their Beta Player, have managed to take a break from playing pogs and cruise their dial-up internet looking for celebrity sex tapes.

Seriously? What kind of bullshit statistic is this? Of course outdated, white trash celebrities are searched for with outdated, white trash engines. It’s about as surprising as finding out that Tom Cruise kind of likes dudes.

I’m pleading with you poor relics, put your Tony! Toni! Tone! records away, close-out of Netscape, and join the rest of society on Google, so I never have to read an article about Britney Spears being number one ever again.

Top 10 Words in the English Langauge

1. Erogenous

2. Ornery

3. Skivvies

4. Ointment

I guess when these words are listed together they give a strange mental image.

5. Tenacious

6. Crotchety

7. Bested

8. Tremendous

9. Catalyst

10. Wax